Happy Sigh

About a year and a day ago, I was sitting in my living room chair nervously pondering the events in my life that I knew were about to take place.  I was thinking about my Little and how well I  knew her, and how much I loved her, and how  I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it all again.  I was sure I couldn't be the same Mother to two children.

After all, your first born, is, well, your first...they get all those first things with you.  I was certain that everything with Maggie would just be the second time that I had experienced all those big and little parent moments.  Do you know what I mean? Second pregnancy, second birth, second newborn, second everything.
God had different plans for my Littlest though and even a year later I am moved to tears when I think about the way she came to us.  I had no idea how I could love another baby as much as I loved my Libby...but then it happened...

I held her.
It was like... magic.

One year later and I can still say that birthing Maggie was the most amazing experience of my life.  I speak the  truth when I tell you that I could absolutely feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room with us that night, covering us with peace and comfort and endurance like I have never felt before.

  Peace was there and when I screamed in pain that I couldn't do it anymore, He nudged me on and said I could. Then I reached down and there she was.

Our bodies sank into each other and I loved her. Oh, how I loved her so much.  My mother bear instincts kick in, my arms wrapped around her perfect little new born body and I didn't want to let her out of my sight.  I just wanted to keep her there in my arms all night.

My Maggie Bell.

Still amazing.

The little girl that amazed us that night continued onward and amazed us all year long, from her quizzical little newborn stares, to her surprising strength, to her sometimes shockingly bad sleep habits.  She has taught us that no two children are alike.

She brought with her  into this world sweetness that I'm sure it didn't have before.  Her shy smiles are hypnotizing, as are the lovely red curls that frame the back of her head.

Sometimes I wish so hard that she would reach her fists up over head and do that new born stretch  she did so well, just one more time.  I wish I could feel her tiny body all tucked up next to mine, or run my hand across her new to the world wrinkled skin...

Time tells me that it is not possible.  Time tells me  to enjoy today, becasue today she laughs, and today she nearly runs to great me when we have been apart, today she can exert her will, and today she knows how to love us back.
Today she has been with us a whole year.

Happy hearts.

Here's to my Littlest.  We love you deeply.

Grace and Peace to you my dear one
xoxo