Cultivating

While organizing my room , I realized that the house was disturbingly quiet...this is what I found.

She had been right next to me trying on shoes and jewelry from my closest, just moments before.

I thought it was out of her reach, the corn starch that is. When I entered her room she was sitting in her top drawer dumping it into her socks.  Neat.

There  has to be more words that I can attach to this post to make it more interesting, but coming off last week's high, it is kind of hard to beat.  I have had some really great moments realizing all we have to look forward to in welcoming little Maggie.  I have also had some, "I don't think I can do this" moments. 

Like, when after an hour of sku-reaming (screaming) during nap time, silence finally filled the house again, until I heard a sweet little voice at the bottom of the stairs say "Mommy."  Somehow she got out of her crib with out making a thud.  She cried when I put her back in. I looked at the corn-starch dusted carpet (still there from the day before), closed the door behind me, and went out on the porch so that the screams of entrapment would be muffled and I could steal just a few minutes that I could call my own.  I took a deep breath of steamy August air, shot up a half- hearted prayer that I wouldn't lose my mind, and went back in to find that she had finally drifted off to sleep. 

Sometimes I wonder how I am cultivating(I heard that word at church :) my world...sometimes everyday, at home, in my ripped jeans and scraggly pony tail doesn't feel like I'm making that big of an impact.  However, just as doubt started to creep in, and tell me that  my life had become dirty dishes and laundry, a voice whispered to me in a quiet and encouraging way that I am cultivating my world.  Teaching her, disciplining her, loving her, it is making an impact on who she will be...And even if she never becomes a high powered something or other, or a missionary in some far off place, or a doctor, or anything like that...Even if one day she finds herself taking deep breaths of steamy August air, while she asks for Grace in raising her children... If it is Grace she asking for, and she is petitioning her heavenly Father, then maybe, just maybe, cultivation happened here in our world. (By the way, thanks for that Mom...you know, cultivating the world around you).
Just a thought.

Just my prayer.

Here's hoping...
Grace and peace