For What It's Worth

Please don't ever get  the idea that Libs and I spend our days laying in fields of wild flowers,  while I teach her valuable lesson of life- that she fully understands at age two, right before I promptly lay her down for an afternoon rest, then get hard to work on dinner for the family- made entirely of food I cooked from scratch, from the garden we grew out back, all done in my spotlessly clean house...
 
Oh wait, that was that other blog you read, written by the perfect wife and mother, with the perfect children.
On my blog you read about embarrassing trips to Target, and the Post Office, and being told off by your pediatrician every time you go for a visit.

Life is less than perfect for sure, and while things do go awry sometimes we  seem to follow a loosely structured schedule that I would rather not throw a wrench into.  When Kev told me that he had to work in Va Beach this week, and would be away for most of it, a wrench was thrown in my schedule and I found myself very frustrated.  When he asked me to  come down for a couple of days...honestly all I could think was why?  So I can pack up the car, the baby, and the dog by myself, to sit in a hotel room with Libs by myself, then haul all of the necessities down to the beach for the day to sit there ...by our selves!
My attitude was poor, I admit it.  My attitude has been poor about a lot of things lately.  I'm blaming it on pregnancy hormones raging out of control throughout my body, so that I don't have to take full responsibility for them, but "poor" none the less.
By a happy accident, I may have been complaining to a friend about my situation and she told me she and another friend and their families would be at the beach this week and invited Libs and I to join them should I decide to come down.  She told me that it would be worth it...
To my surprise it was...worth every minute of spending time away from home, away from our schedule, my need to "feel" like we are productive everyday (which generally turns to being unproductive), away from the walls that sometimes close in on me and make me feel like I'm doing everything by myself (I know I'm not by myself really...that would be the hormones talking).
Back to our trip...
So I did it, I pack up everything, on my own, begrudgingly, chanting to myself...."it's worth it, it's worth it, it's worth it.  I sped down I-64's two lanes of holiday makers sure that our adventure would be a complete bust.
When Kev met us at the hotel, his eyes lit up like they do right before we take a big trip or do something excting...all b/c we came to see him... and in that moment it was worth it.

He took us out to dinner in a fancy section of town and we sat outside under street lights,watching sun kissed diners in beachy colored shirts stroll by us, all while the Little, dare I say, enchanted all those around with her angelic ways...and I'm not being facetious.  It was worth it.

The next morning, Libs and I had breakfast at Starbucks.  We sat at a bistro table together, sharing a bowl of oatmeal, sipped our drinks, and I realized that in a few months moments like this between she and I would be fleeting. 

She quietly sang "...I know you I walked with you once a upon a dream..." leaned over, kiss me right on the mouth, and in that moment it was worth it.

We arrived at the beach around lunch and stayed until 7 that night.  Our friends had literally set up camp for the day and made it easy for us to want to linger as long as possible...

The air was warm, but there was a balmy sea breeze for most of the day.  We played, we walked, we skipped nap time all together...


She ran up and down the shore line on tip toes avoiding the crashing waves...giggling with every step...
She made it through the whole day with no baby drop  downs, very little screaming, and was almost acting like she understood my lengthy, sure to be confusing talks, during time-outs....
it was worth it.  
When the sun began to set behind us and most of the beach goers packed up for the day, I slipped her into a little white dress that my mom brought her from India.  She sat down quietly in the sand and examined the ruffles, like she knew it was something special. She even let me brush her hair... and even that little moment to me,  was worth it. 

At the end of the day, when our friends drove away, I washed the layers of sand from every crevice that I could, slipped her into her pj's, and tucked her in her car seat ready to watch Sleeping Beauty for the 12th time since the day before.

As I glanced over my shoulder before pulling off the parking lot, her eyes were already closed,  her little fingers were clenched tightly around Bernie...and in that moment it was worth it.

Here's hoping you don't miss out on those moments.  They really are, you know, worth it...

Grace and Peace
xxx