Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What Just Happened


I have one child (technically I have two, but the other does not need a diaper bag yet, snacks, entertainment, or any of those necessary things when we leave the house).
You would think that going to the store would not be that big of a deal with one child...I know people who do it all the time with two, three, four, even more.
After an early lunch, I thought that for sure we could run to Target or Walmart and grab the milk that we needed and a few other things that were on the list.
An impulse decision made choose Target even though it is further from our house..Big mistake!  Too close to nap time, too far from home, too much freedom, since I let her ride in the extra large, special seat buggy that only a  licensed mom should drive since it is basically like navigating  a Winnebago through the store.
Here's how it basically went...
Milk...got it
oatmeal...got it
OJ..got it
etc, etc, etc...got it
"Okay" I say to myself,
"she is doing pretty well, it's not quite 1:30, why don't we cut through the home goods section, while we stroll through the little girls clothing, passing the grown up girls clothes, on our way to the check out"
Right around the storage solutions isle it all came unglued.  She had wiggled herself out of the child safty harness (I'm using the term "child safety" very loosely) and was attempting to climb out when she looked at me with a glimmer in her eyes and said
"Walk..,please?"
I think to myself, which battle do I want to fight...sit in the cart or walk next to Mommy?  I naively chose walk next to Mommy (too close to nap time, as I previously mentioned).  While I was using the full strength of my body to direct the Winnebago cart that was now child free, she went running into the little girls clothes section and came running back with a pair of size 5 shorts and says "mama cute."  All the people around us chuckle and say "oh what a cute little girl,"
I on the other hand am constantly repeating
"Libby are you obeying Mommy we need to walk this way"
Alright, to make a long, slightly embarrassing, story shorter, I ended up wrestling her into the cart.  At this point passing shoppers are no longer praising my little girl, who just moments before was sooooo cute, they are just giving me dirty looks.
I in the sweetest Mommy voice I can muster,  say "Libs, you're going to the naughty step when we get home, if you do not sit down."
She was flinging herself over the edge of the cart, while grabbing the front of my shirt, showing all the Target shoppers, what pregnancy does to my chest.
To make it an even more enjoyable end to our trip, I ran into a neighbor and a friend who's little boy was sitting in her cart without making a sound...meanwhile the Little was eating the chocolate chips we hadn't bought yet through the bag....
Oh, I am still not done, it got better.  I, foolishly, decide that we could make it to the car with out the cart.  We got half way out the door and I said" Libs you have to hold Mommy's hand on the parking lot" 
She threw herself on the ground, directly in front of the door, and started screaming
"WALK, WALK!" 
I call this the baby drop down, you know, when they go from standing to throwing a fit on the ground in a matter of milliseconds.  What, you have no idea what I am talking about b/c your child doesn't do this...just stop by my house lately we get a daily demonstration of it.
Like the model parent that I am, I pulled her to the side, got down on her level, and explained that she had to hold my hand because parking lots are dangerous.
Then.....we headed to the car.  Just re-read the above paragraph, except this time she laid down, screaming, while I tried not to pull her arm out of socket, in the middle of the Target parking lot.
I picked her up, like a sack of potatoes, while carrying our four shopping bags, dropped her by the car, while I slung the groceries in and looked down to find her about to put a squished ketchup packet from the ground into her mouth.
This is all a true story...I couldn't make this stuff up.
When we got home, I carried her upstairs (she is still crying in case you were wondering), changed her diaper, and put her in her crib.
She is still there now.

By the way, the top picture is to make you think that life is perfect, and that my child adores me, and listens to every valuable instruction I give...
This picture is to show you that life is real and sometimes on trips to Target before nap time  is real hard...

and this picture is to remind me that I love her, baby drop down and all!

Here's to grace and peace, I need a little of both.  May all your trips to Target and life be showered with them.

11 comments:

Beth K said...

You write the best stories, Carly! They always make me laugh so hard! Looking forward to our pedis tomorrow!

Erin said...

I am seriously cracking up. Like tears rolling down my face and just totally picturing this all happening. Ohhhh Libs.... you are giving Mommy a run for her money. We've all been there girl. Baby Drop Down and all!

MommyB said...

All I have to say is.....mmmhmmmmm it only gets better ;)xoxo

Lisa A said...

I too was laughing because I feel like my life has suddenly switched to the same way in the last month or so! Alivia has also mastered the baby drop down, however, next time maybe it'll make me laugh a little thinking of calling it that. :) this too shall pass is what I keep telling myself since I've never seen a teenager drop down. Lol

Sandra said...

Oh Carly - it's those "terrible 2's" starting early. I hope she learns quickly that having a tantrum doesn't get her what she wants. Would be good if it happened before she got run over in Target's car park!

Amanda said...

I don't know if I should laugh or cry! But I know all about the baby drop down, and when you're 9 months pregnant it becomes baby AND mama drop down!

Jill said...

Maybe you should consider wearing turtle necks from now until the end of your pregnancy just in case of a repeat of said "drop down".

Jessi said...

OMG. I love you.

Jan said...

Libby sounds just like Jim when he was little (he was great at two but the threes were terrible) but I made excuses for him, I thought he was that way because Greg and Laura constantly tormented him... now I am wondering if it was just HIM!
Love your stories, they are so funny... though I am sure you don't think so while you were going through them! Hope the next trip to the store is earlier in the day and all goes well.
Love you and miss you!

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