It was the longest I have gone without seeing her. I was actually was nervous for her to come, but dying to hold her at the same time. I had been waiting all day for my parents to arrive with her. I knew that it was almost time when I could hear her out in the hallway charming the nurses with all the treasures she had packed in her bag. I was holding Maggie and she burst into the room with all of her energy and said "Oh hi Mags," like she had known her all along.
She crawled into my lap, and I cried. with both of them in my arms for the first time.
It was magic, like if I felt anything else my heart would just burst right open. In one swift moment I was able to use the phrase "me and my girls," and not only that, but I can use it for the rest of my life.
She gave Maggie a bear, and Maggie gave her a baby. She touched everything in the room while her Daddy followed behind her telling her "no". I was just happy to have her close to me again, giggling and laughing while she discovered things like surgical gloves and the buttons on my hospital bed.
The days since we've been home have been spent snuggling my Littlest all day long and stealing cuddles from my Little when she slows down enough to allow it.
I spend most of my day trying to recover slowly and sit back while I'm forced to let everyone else do the jobs that are normally assigned to me. My Little is testing her boundaries in every way that she can. If I have found anything difficult this time around(besides the reason for the induction) it has been watching her struggle to figure out what is normal now.
Of course, nothing is normal right now. Normally, we won't have grandparents to fill in the gaps that we are leaving, normally, Daddy wouldn't be working from home, normally, Mommy could carry her up to bed. We'll find it though. We'll all slip into this new page of life and we wont even remember what life was like before we were four.
What is normal anyways?
This, right here, both my Little and Littlest curled up in my lap on a cold January day, this is my normal, and this feels so right.
Heart's bursting open as I type.
Grace and Peace
CJ
xoxo
6 comments:
Oh Carly, I cried when I read this post. The pictures of you and your girls are so beautiful. Can't wait to see you all and give both those girls a great big cuddle next week.
I am so glad no one in the world can see me right now. The "ugly" cry is here - in full effect. Oh my --- the tears keep rolling. That was precious. I cannot wait for that moment. I am so glad you shared it all with us. Love you and "your girls!"
I need cousin cuddle time as soon as possible. I love Mag's cheeks and little pink lips and of course I love Libby Rose from head to toe.
Carly, you had Alyssa and I doing all we could to not cry when we read this. How precious! Your girls are beautiful!
Oh that is so sweet! You captured some great pictures! How precious!
Your girls are just beautiful, and you are radiant! Your family of four does seem just right:) Congratulations!!!
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