2 Girls, 2 Tales, 1 Post

There must be words I can write tonight.
The days seem like they are flying by in fast forward.  I barely have enough presence of mind to know that somehow we woke up, made it through the steps of our day, only to realize that it's past 8 o'clock and I should be tucking my Little into bed.

 
Let me start by telling you about Miss Bell, as I heard her Daddy refer to her today.  Is saying that "I love her" enough?

I don't think that is enough...
I really, really love her.  Literally, I barely put her down.  Maggie is a sweet girl, she does much better in your arms than she does on her own, and I  like that about her.

 

While I know after each 1:00 am feeding I should re-swaddle her and gently lay her in the cradle next to my bed, something about the way her little body fits into the bend in my arm makes me keep her near me.  Before I know it, the clock has crept passed 3, and there she lays, curled up next to me.  There is this part of my brain that tells me that I will sleep so much better if I lay her down, but there is this other part that always says, "just hold her a little longer," and something in the core of who I am listens to that voice instead.

Before I know it, my love is heading out the door for work and he whispers  that he's going to change her for me, then lay her down in her own bed....
I mutter something in half asleep voice like,"oh thanks babe... I was just about to...have a good day...love you so much," and then I sleep for an hour or two until I hear her call me in the way that only a newborn can do.  It's not a cry, it is her deep breath, her little mouse noises, and her stirring that tells me that 2-3 hours have passed and she needs me again.  The part that I love is  that God designed my body to realize that my arms have been empty for that time and I need her too.

It is enchanting to have a new baby in the house again.  I was nervous about the lack of sleep, the changes, and all the unknown that having a newborn brings, but with Mags there was nothing to be nervous about.  She fits in with us like she was always here, and I think that's the way it is supposed to be.

 

And about my Little.  I love her too.  

Still not enough.

I really, really love her.

I am still amazed that through this topsy turvy time of life that she is just completely in love with this little person that has infiltrated the Jones house.  She'll stop everything, even a temper tantrum, to get Maggie a fresh diaper, or to quite energetically shove the binky in her mouth if she's crying.

She and I have had little to no time together, so Friday I did what I said I wanted to do a couple of posts ago.  We went to Starbucks, just the two of us.  It was cold and snowy, so she had a hot chocolate and I had a peppermint mocha, easy on the peppermint.  We toasted our paper cups together across the table and said "here's to a Mama and Libby date," and it was just what I needed and maybe it's just what she needed too.  

I was afraid of that too, you know, I wrote about it last month, that she and I would lose something, but it's still there.  I think it will always be there.  She is  my precious girl.  God bless her, she is a living, breathing, replica of me in mannerisms and personality (for this I will apologize to her for repeatedly when she is older) and there is a bond between us that can not be lost.  I know that there will be times, like when my arms feel too short, that it feels all but lost, but peppermint mochas, hot chocolate, and all those things we love doing together  will always bring us back...I'm sure of it. 

 

 So here's to my two girls, I love them both...

No,

I really, really love them.

Grace and Peace

xoxo