Eight Years Later

 There we are, eight years ago, just days before we said "for better or worse."

Here we are just a few weeks ago. 

 Eight years later.  

Still quite the same, but different.  Maybe it is the bags beneath my eyes that are more significant, or maybe it is the lines of wisdom that are forming around his :).  I like to think that it is something more.  The first picture shows us completely blind to what the next 8 years of our life would be like.  We were starry eyed.  I think that we were just happy to be on the same continent, ready to start our life together.  All we knew was that possibility was in our future.  Potential jobs, homes, children, adventures, they were all in front of us.  Our history was just starting.

I know that in terms of a life time eight years isn't a lot, but in this picture below I think our history shows.  My sister once told me that the seventh year of marriage is one of the hardest.  I joked with Kevin on June 10th that we made it through the seven year itch.  You might not see it, but I do.  This picture shows us leaning into each other.  All I know, is that in these eight years, he is the one that I lean on.  On hard days, on good days, on days like Sunday when all we could muster was a dirty look at each other, I still couldn't imagine leaning into anyone else but him.

I love our love story, may it be a story that continues for years and years to come.  And should I ever get a chance to compare pictures from 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 years or more, I pray that we are always leaning into each other.

Grace and Peace

xoxo

This One Is Strictly For My Memories

When Libby was truly my Little, I read her "Where the Wild Things Are" almost everyday.  Somehow between learning to love princess things and fairy wings we moved away from it as a daily favorite.  We read  it with Maggie last night, knowing that she would love it, which she did.  This morning, while we were tidying her room together, Libby picked it up and flipped through the pages that only have pictures right after Max says "let the wild rumpus start", in which I normally insert the words "and rumpus, and rumpus, and rumpus" thanks to my bff Laura.  From there, she turned every page while I quoted it from my memory, as I mentioned, I used to read it everyday so it is one that I know by heart.
When we got to the end, she closed it in a bit of a huff, and said "Mommy, I don't like this book, we should give it away."
I answered "Oh Libby, we can't give it away, Cooper will love it."
"Why will he love it," she said.
I said "because he is sure to be a wild thing."
Then she said "what will he say when we read it to him?"
I said "Grrrrrr."
 Then she said "We should make him a suit, you know, a wolf suit."
What a great idea, I love that little girl.  It was one of my most favorite conversations I have ever had with her, it ranks right up there with this one.
This picture is pulling at my mama heart, mostly because she looks ever so grown up in it, but her hand is wrapped around her oldest friend Mo-Mo.  He's always been there with her.
Can't believe I am knocking on the door of my third trimester and preparing to meet another person who will change my life in a painful :) yet beautiful way or, that the magical little person who did it first, is knocking on the door of her fifth birthday.
Amazing.

Thankful for my wild things, all three.

"Oh please don't go, we'll eat you up we love you so" ~ Where the Wild Things Are
Grace and Peace
xoxo

Laying Low and Playing Slow

I have fond memories of the brief period of time when Kev and I moved from Florida to Virginia.  We didn't know anybody and it was just him and me exploring our new stomping ground and finding our feet.
As much as I was resisting moving and leaving everything we were comfortable with, I have really enjoyed the last three weeks here in our new digs.  We don't know anyone so we have no outstanding commitments except to each other which is a little bit refreshing.  We are spending are evenings together, I am cooking dinner almost every night, we are laughing more, and that is the real reason why we made yet another big move.
As for the house...I know pinning over a house was a little bit silly, but I really liked my old house.  We had poured some love into it and I was more attached to it than I thought I was.
This is the front of our new house

I put it on my instagram the other day and one of my friends commented "this house was made for you."  I call it our little blue cottage by the sea.  It is missing things that we had before like a garage, a large yard, and room to park both of our cars, but just a minute from our door we have this.

And most days or nights we take our girls for a walk and I take pictures like this with my phone because I can't get the camera to work.

I would say that we are settling in just fine.  In fact we met a man the other night who told us now that we are here we are never going to leave.  Maybe he is right, maybe it is because summer is easing itself in slowly and being outside is better than being in, but I am loving the easiness that comes with living near the beach.  

Before I end this post, since blogging hasn't been a priority in my life lately I throw these strawberry picking pictures in at no extra charge.  The girls and I drove out to the country our first week here to pick some lovelies.  We lingered there all day and when we came home we made Kevo a strawberry rhubarb crumble...it was tasty.  I actually wish I had more of it right now.

One more thing, I am very aware that the little girl above and below is about to loose her title as my baby.  I've been savoring things about her that still seem so little to me, like the way she talks, and the way she sleeps with her mouth just so.  I know that when her brother arrives, if there were traces of baby left they will all but melt away.  She is my shadow, my little helper.  Even now she is sitting at my feet pretend cooking while I type. I hope that never changes, even when there is a new baby in my arms.  Nearly 2 1/2 years later and I still think she is the sweetest little thing I ever did know.

I think that catches me up, sort of.  Maybe next time I'll stage the little blue cottage and take some pics for you.  Right now there is still no pictures on the walls, and there are toys on the floor.
Even if I stage pictures, there will probably still be toys on the floor and I'm okay with that. :)
I like it here.
Grace and peace
xoxo

Breath In Breath Out

I have let this space fall silent before, but this might be the longest I have ever let it go.
The last few weeks have been full of getting things in order for our move, and doing things in Richmond one last time and saying goodbye to friends for the time being.  It was all harder than I thought it was going to be.

The movers arrived last Monday and I watch through bleary eyes as they took apart the playroom that I had put so much thought into, and as they took every single family photo down that I strategically placed on the dinning room wall.  Very wisely, Kev could see me coming unglued so he sent me to my friends house for the rest of the day.  When we returned and I saw my house, that was "perfect" for us, completely taken apart I cried. (There is going to be a lot of "I cried" in this post).

 We were sitting in the Libby's room, probably one of my favorite spaces in our old house, while the girls giggled and climbed on mountains of boxes, Kevin was talking about the lists of things we still had to do before we left and I just cried.  I can't put my finger on exactly what it was that made me so sad, but I think that letting go of things is never easy, especially when nothing truly bad ever happened there.  My friend did point out that I basically lived there alone for the last 6 months and that we were moving to the beach and that things were going to be just as they should be.  So for the next two days when I went in the house I chanted Scarlet O'hara in my head "I'll think about that tomorrow." Somehow when I pulled away from Hunter's Chase Court I didn't fall to pieces, I just told the girls "we're going to our new house at the beach," and we talked about all the fun things we would get to do once we settled in.

When we pulled into our new house, our cottage, all I could think was how small it looked in comparison to what we just left.  As move in day carried on, my anxiety was mounting, I could feel it.  I was short with Kev, I was short with girls, I was loosing it.  At whatever ungodly hour I crawled into bed I looked at him and asked if we had made a huge mistake, and then the tears came back, and cried until I fell asleep.  We  were so comfortable at our old house, the girls could run, the dog could run, everything had a place.   At that very low point Wednesday night I felt like we just walked away from the perfect life.

I woke up Thursday morning and remembered a text that my friend Julie had sent me the day before, all she said was that "joy comes in the morning."  The sun was shinning, the beach was just down the street, and I had a house that I needed to turn into our home.  I put my rubber gloves on, Kev started unpacking, and because they are so unbelievably good at it, my darlings laughed and played all day long.

 Joy did come in the morning.  Friday morning I was picking up Libby's room and I heard myself say "I love this room."  We are settling in slowly.  There are still a lot of boxes to unpack, there are curtains to hang, and I still need to find just the right space to hang all of our family photos, but I think the sadness over what we had is past.

Our new house is in a really unique setting.  We are, as I mentioned before, blocks from the beach, it is a blue cottage which marks the 4th house that Kev and I have lived in that it a shade of blue.  We have met lots of our neighbors and they are interesting to say the least.  We clearly aren't in suburbia any more.  There is Miss Audrey our 90 year old neighbor who lives alone and I think she seems like she needed us to move in, there is Vodka Kris, who though she is almost always intoxicated, still manages to give us helpful neighborhood tips, our neighbor the 50 year old surfer,much to delight of my husband,  and the man down the road with the dog treats, who is more interested in Gus than us.

That is where we are right now.  Together, happy, looking forward to what the next few months have in store for us.

One thing we know is that God has placed a little boy in our path.  In the midst of all the chaos of moving, we had a ultra sound that revealed that my girls were right all along, they are getting a little brother.  I love the way that God works.

 I always knew, even before I knew I was pregnant, that Liberty Rose and Maggie Bell would part of our life.  I don't what it was, mother's intuition or something, I just knew I would know them, I even feel like I had an idea of their personalities.  This one though, he had me stumped.  His sisters knew, they took care of it for me.  From about the time my belly started to show they named him Cooper and have told everyone they come across about him.  Finally, we know that they were right, and our new baby is a little boy.  I can't wait to meet him.  Mother's intuition is kicking in and I think I'm learning a little bit more about him each and everyday he is with me.  I am so thankful that I am able to experience this one more time.  I wasn't sure it was going to happen, but it has and I am grateful.

 I am grateful for every kick and wiggle that tells me he is here and preparing to meet us in the time that God appointed for him.  I am anxious to touch his skin, to watch him stretch, to feel him close to my face.  I can't wait to fall in love even more with my family when we welcome him into our lives here on the outside.

It is all going to happen here, in this little blue house by the beach.
It is a beautiful thing.

Grace and Peace

 xoxo
 Thanks to my friend Beth who took these lovely family photos for us at our old house before we left!

Looking For Writing Material

My girl was testing boundaries today.  She found at least 3 reasons to leave her room during resting time.  I just went in to tell her that rest time was over and  she could come out of her room to play and there she laid, curled in ball, sleeping so pretty, that I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

I think that every spring time since she was able to walk I have pictures of her like this.  Where she is moving so fast that no matter how quickly I click the button on my camera, I still can't catch her.  These are my favorite pictures.  I'll always know exactly what she was doing.
She was dancing.
She was spinning.
She was laughing.
I loved today.  We didn't do anything fancy.  I taught a little school, but mostly I just watched them play together.

I watched the sunshine dance through Maggie's curls while she loved her baby and told Libby that the rainbow colored rattle snake she work diligently to draw was just amazing.

 I marveled at those baby legs that aren't so baby anymore and like all mothers I know, I wondered, where has the time gone?

This past weekend I started to sift through our life that is rapidly approaching the time that it will be packed up and moved to a new life, in a new house, in a new town.  Last week the mere thought of it sent me into an intense sense of panic.  So Saturday, as I sifted, I cried.  I cried when I peered out the window and saw my Little looking for flowers.  I cried when I tried to find a preschool near our new house (we are thinking of sending Libs next year since we will have our baby with us and I think I know my limits). I cried when I thought about this house being our old house, and finally when I cried for a fourth time my husband asked me to stop doing things that made me cry.  

 So I did.  I went outside and enjoyed the afternoon and evening with my family.  My favorite thing to do.  I also decided that my pregnancy hormones are raging out of control.

 I think that this move has the potential to send me spinning.  I don't  know which way to turn next.   Should I pack, should I purge, should I save things just in case I need them one day?  I don't actually know the right answer.  Sometimes I wish we were there and settled already, and sometimes I wish we could stay here forever.

Things have actually fallen into place incredibly smooth considering how stressful moving can be. It seems like there might be a bigger reason why we are supposed to be in this new place.  I don't know what it is, but I know that God will reveal it to us in His time.  He provided the job, He is providing a buyer for our house here, and He provided a house for us there. 

  Kevin was headed out of town last week and as he left, he said to me when you get a free moment look for a house for us to rent.  I had poured over housing sites for days and I almost memorized the ones that would work for our family.  Through all of this Kev has had fleeting dreams of "wouldn't it be great if we could live near the beach and really take advantage of living close to the water again."  Sure that would be great, I even said I was willing to downsize if it meant we could be in walking distance of the beach.  I was doubting though, because the reality is that anything close to the beach is way out of our price range and any rentals I found were only available for a weekly vacation rate.

 There was this moment though, when I thought wouldn't it be cool God was planning on blessing us again, and somewhere there is a beach cottage with our name on it.  As fast as I thought it, I dismissed it.
 Can you see where this is going?  Even though I thought I had view every house in Virginia Beach that was up for rent in May, last Monday one that I had never seen before popped up in my search.  It was was blue, it looked like a cottage, it was charming.  When I looked on the map I thought "my goodness that looks close to the water.. "

It's true.  God is blessing us with a cottage near the beach.  In fact we can see the beach from the end of our road.  We can walk there.  We can walk to a local restaurant.  Our new neighbor invited us to fish off of her pier   I keep wondering if all of this is real.

 The house has some quirks, but so do we.  I think it will be a perfect match.  I'll find a way to downsize or to rearrange so that the important stuff fits.  We'll save a little corner for my sister's cradle so that Tiniest Jones will feel like we've been waiting for him all along.

We'll buy stock in Coppertone sunblock and purchase a bigger beach bag.  

 We'll hold tight to each other and pretend like this is our own little adventure.

We'll thank God everyday because we know that we are undeserving of these blessing.

I have my own big dreams of keeping this blog up on a 3 posts a week basis, but with all this lovely change in our life I feel like that dream is still a far way off.  Maybe once we are settled in at Chicks Beach, I'll post weekly beach photos or something like that.  

Until that day comes,

Grace and Peace

xoxo